At St. Vincent de Paul, we want to walk with you through the funeral planning or pre-planning process. As Catholics, we are encouraged to plan and arrange for our funeral and burial because of our faith and hope in our own resurrection.
In a difficult moment, having clear guidance can make the process a little easier. This page outlines the normal steps involved in planning a Catholic funeral and provides helpful resources for selecting readings, music, and other parts of the liturgy. Our goal is to help families navigate these decisions with clarity and peace.
If you have any questions or need assistance, please contact one of our Pastoral Ministers:
Nicole Florez – florezn@svdpomaha.org or 402-452-2221;
Kelly Anderson – andersonk@svdpomaha.org or 402-452-2238
Planning a funeral can feel overwhelming. The resources here will help making decisions on reading selections, music options, planning worksheets, and important information to assist you each step of the way.
This is a list of the areas that we recommend be addressed well in advance of the time of death, if possible. The order is not important, and this may not be a complete list. All funerals and families are different. These are the common and important things that families need to address:
Mortuary or Crematoria
It is recommended that this decision be made prior to a death, if possible, so the authorities know where the body will be delivered.
Be sure there is a good fit with the location and the staff you’ll be working with. Sometimes location will be a deciding factor, but families need to be comfortable with the mortuary staff and believe that they have the family’s best interest at heart
It is good for the family to know ahead of time expenses, payment options, casket or urn options, etc. Many of these can be discussed and addressed well before the time of death.
Cemetery
One important aspect is a plot or place for the casket or urn. This is good to determine well in advance of the funeral, when there is no rush or pressure. Be sure the cemetery selected is good for the family—location is often important. Picking the actual final resting spot should take into account ease of access, landscaping, etc.
The mortuary staff often can provide advice, information, and contacts to make selecting and working with the cemetery easier.
At the time of the funeral, the actual coordination of preparing the spot and the delivery to the cemetery is normally handled by the mortuary. If there is no mortuary being used, the family will need to work with the cemetery directly.
Parish
One important aspect is a plot or place for the casket or urn. This is good to determine well in advance of the funeral, when there is no rush or pressure. Be sure the cemetery selected is good for the family—location is often important. Picking the actual final resting spot should take into account ease of access, landscaping, etc.
The mortuary staff often can provide advice, information, and contacts to make selecting and working with the cemetery easier.
At the time of the funeral, the actual coordination of preparing the spot and the delivery to the cemetery is normally handled by the mortuary. If there is no mortuary being used, the family will need to work with the cemetery directly.
There are three major entities in these decisions—the Family, the Mortuary and the Parish. All three must agree on what will occur, where will it occur and who is responsible.
Families—Families often have specific desires/requirements regarding the dates of the services (e.g., to allow for travel time or for a specific family member to be present). They decide if there will be visitation, a Wake, a Mass and/or a cemetery service. They are truly the final decision makers, based on the availability of the other two entities.
Parish—For scheduling purposes, the Parish determines the availability of the Church, the Parish Hall (if a luncheon is desired), and the Clergy to lead the services. These are also determining factors. Often the mortuary staff confirms the availability with the Parish/Priest, using the desired dates/times the family has identified.
NOTE: Most Wake services are normally held at the mortuary, as scheduling the Church in the evenings or weekend days is often difficult.
Mortuary—Depending on what services are planned at their facility (e.g., visitation, a Wake service, or a funeral service—i.e., service without a Mass), their facility availability is a determining factor. They will also know and work with the family on anything else that is required—e.g., choosing a cemetery and/or a plot, selecting caskets or urns, etc. They’ll be able to factor any constraints or deadlines into the overall timeline for the family. The mortuary will coordinate with the cemetery, and they usually handle any brochures, holy cards, pictures, and Livestreaming services. The family usually meets with the Mortuary staff and selects a couple/few dates that work for the services. The mortuary staff will often directly contact the Parish to determine what works best. Mortuary—Depending on what services are planned at their facility (e.g., visitation, a Wake service, or a funeral service—i.e., service without a Mass), their facility availability is a determining factor. They will also know and work with the family on anything else that is required—e.g., choosing a cemetery and/or a plot, selecting caskets or urns, etc. They’ll be able to factor any constraints or deadlines into the overall timeline for the family. The mortuary will coordinate with the cemetery, and they usually handle any brochures, holy cards, pictures, and Livestreaming services. The family usually meets with the Mortuary staff and selects a couple/few dates that work for the services. The mortuary staff will often directly contact the Parish to determine what works best.
There is nothing “normal” about losing someone you love. While every situation is unique, these steps offer a general outline of what typically happens.
Death occurs. The family (or the facility) contacts the mortuary regarding the body. Often, the family notifies the Parish, too.
The family meets with the mortuary staff to work through desired dates/times for the service and to identify any other to-do’s and deadlines. This may include selecting cemetery/plot, selecting casket or urn, will there be an obituary in the paper and who will provide picture/info for it, does the family wish to have a brochure hand-out and who will provide the content, will there be a slide show CD created and who/when will provide the content, are holy cards desired and which ones/how many, etc.
The mortuary confers with the Parish on availability of church and clergy, and a date is confirmed.
The family schedules a Family Meeting with the Priest. During the Family Meeting, the dates/times are confirmed and the timing and flow of day of the services are reviewed. The music and reading selections are reviewed or discussed, and a due-date for getting the selections to the Pastoral Minister or Priest is agreed upon. An initial estimate of the number of people attending the service is made, which is required for purchasing for the lunch and for printing the worship aids for the Mass. The Priests also use the Family Meeting to learn more about the deceased and how the Lord was active in their lives. This helps them relate the readings selected by the family to the deceased’s life in the homily. We often walk through the Church, Family Room and Parish Center to ensure the family is comfortable with the facilities.
